


Cosmic Love

by thatfragilecapricorn



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, Post-One Breath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-22 09:09:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10693905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatfragilecapricorn/pseuds/thatfragilecapricorn
Summary: "I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a mapAnd knew that somehow I could find my way back"





	Cosmic Love

"The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out  
You left me in the dark  
No dawn, no day  
I'm always in this twilight  
In the shadow of your heart."  
\- Florence and the Machine

 

Mulder always loved the stars. He loved them for both their beauty and what they represent: the potential for extraterrestrial life. Even as a child, on the Vineyard, while other kids were watching TV at night, Mulder had his face tilted towards the sky. By the time he was seven, he could pick out Orion, Ursa Major, Cassiopeia, and countless others. When he was ten, his father bought him a telescope and he would squint into the lens, the tiny pinpricks of light finally coming into focus.

Nothing has been in focus since Scully was abducted. Whenever Mulder tries to star gaze, his view is blurry. He can no longer identify the constellations or even find the North Star. How will he ever get home? he thinks jokingly, his black humor still intact. Scully knew how to use a compass and Mulder could navigate via the stars; the two of them a perfect team in finding their way without a map.

As a psychologist, Mulder knows that depression can cause one to lose interest in things she or he once found enjoyable. But Mulder has always been a little depressed so he knows it's not that. He even goes to the eye doctor, convinced that his vision is weakening and he will now need glasses to traverse this brave new world. But somehow it’s still a perfect 20/20.

"Good thing, too, or I’d have to update your FBI physical notes" jokes the optometrist.

Instead, Mulder knows that Scully's absence creates a black hole that sucks in all the stars, until everything is dark.

When he gets the phone call that Scully is alright, that she is awake, that she is alive, Mulder has to stop himself from speeding over the hospital. He's waited three months but he doesn't know if he can wait another thirty seconds. Instead he sits on the couch and breathes through his nose. He knows her mother and sister will be there and doesn't want to overwhelm her.

He waits an hour, then goes to see her.

He doesn't stay long, feels slightly uncomfortable in her presence. She’s like an eclipse: beautiful but his eyes hurt if he watches for too long.

Though Mulder can’t look away either so he goes back. It's early evening and still visiting hours so he doesn't have to worry about a nurse kicking him out. Not that that would stop him anyway.

Scully is watching TV when he arrives at her door. He leans against the frame, taking in the scene. Scully never watched much TV before, instead preferring to read medical journals or old X-Files cases in her free time.

She must have heard him sigh, because she looks over and smiles. "You caught me. I'm watching a soap opera."

That causes Mulder to grin. "Scully, I knew you were keeping secrets from me," he jokes as he moves to sit next to her bed.

"I feel like I've missed so much; I'm just trying to get caught up." She uses a remote to switch to the news.

"Will you watch with me?" she asks shyly.

Mulder can think of nothing better than watching TV with his partner, the normality of it almost absurd after what has happened.

But he doesn't really pay attention to the screen anyway. He'd rather watch Scully; take in her regal nose, the curve of her jaw, the slight curl in her hair, all the parts of her that he had gone so long without seeing.

Scully glances over at him during a commercial and catches him staring. He's not embarrassed, but he can tell that she is.

"Is there - is there something... different? ….About me?" she clarifies after a slight pause.

She continues sheepishly, "I haven't seen myself in a mirror so I don't know what I look like."

Mulder leans closer, as if he wants to examine her face. She looks like she’s nervous about what he might reveal.

"I see two eyes," he traces her left eyebrow with a light touch. He lets his finger run down her cheek: "a nose" and brushes his thumb against her lip "and a mouth."

"Everything checks out," he goes on to say. It was supposed to be a joke but she doesn't laugh. She doesn't seem offended either, just contemplative. Mulder leans back and turns to the TV. Scully does the same.

After about a half hour more, Mulder is trying to readjust himself on the chair. Of course hospitals have the most uncomfortable seats. Scully pats the bed next to her and says, "Mulder those chairs are way too uncomfortable. Sit here."

He is hesitant, doesn’t want to overstep any boundaries, but when Scully says "I won't bite" he moves to settle in next to her. The bed isn't that big but Scully is small, so there is room for the both of them.

She turns to him. "Mulder can I ask you a favor?"

He would literally do anything for her, but sure, Scully, a favor, that's no trouble at all.

"Do you mind staying here tonight? I normally wouldn’t ask but I…” she takes a deep breath.

“…I'm just afraid that if I close my eyes, the next time I open them another three months will have passed. Isn’t that ridiculous?" she laughs a little, as if needing comfort after a traumatic event is funny.

He takes her hand and squeezes. “Of course I will. Scully, that’s not ridiculous at all.”

She smiles and slides over on the bed, now closer than she was before. She leans into him a little and he wraps his arm around her shoulders. Those three months suddenly seem like years. He can’t remember the last time he was this close to her.

"I missed you so much," he whispers, not sure if she’ll be able to hear him, not caring either way.

Scully pulls away a fraction to look into his eyes.

"Mulder, I may not remember anything from when I was gone, but I do know that wherever I was, whatever was happening, I missed you too," she states emphatically, like it was a universal truth of which he just happened to be unaware.

He doesn't say anything, just buries his face in her shoulder, his ear against her chest. He can hear her heart beating. His hand cups the side of her neck, her pulse strong against his palm. Her hand curls around his, holding him in place. She is alive.

They lay like that, until Mulder can tell that Scully's breathing has slowed down enough for her to be asleep. He lifts his head slightly, so as not to disturb her. Mulder glances over toward the window. He can see the stars.


End file.
